I'd say the movie does have some problems, but I thought the message was a bit more nuanced and less problematic than what you're saying.

The theme of the film was about both characters moving past their respective childhood traumas and forging their adult identities.

In many respects Percy was far more emotionally mature than Maddie, but he mostly lived in his head and lacked the confidence to really participate in the "real" world.

The "Kidnapping" scene doesn't work if the genders are swapped for sure, but that's a fundamentally different situation as there was no danger of the woman overpowering the man in this scenario.

Jennifer Lawrence conducts herself with a lot more presence and confidence than Andrew Feldman and as a result it feels like she has all the power in that situation, but there's not any chance of her being able to physically force him to do anything.

The mace scene to me worked for laughs because while no one contested that Maddie was acting super creepy and deserved something like that to happen to her as a result, Percy didn't actually need to mace her in order to protect himself.

Mace is a tool used by physically smaller women to equalize a power imbalance with physically stronger men. Percy thinking he needed to use it there spoke to his insecurities and failure to realize who he was and the power he had.

By the end of the film I don't think he'd have chosen to handle that situation with mace. Indeed, the movie does end with him simply walking away from Maddie when she tries to do the same kind of physical pressuring she'd done prior to the mace.

I think the film was self-aware enough not to pretend that anything Maddie did was okay.

Maddie was not at any point presented as a hero. She was a very troubled and self-destructive character who came to realize her flaws and began the work towards fixing herself.